scuzzmutt:

[SMASHES INTO YOUR BEDROOM]
[SHOVES YOU INTO BED]
[AGGRESSIVELY TUCKS YOU IN]
[THROWS STUFFED ANIMALS AT YOU]
[SCREAMS A BEDTIME STORY AT YOU]
[KISSES YOUR FOREHEAD]
[BACKFLIPS OFF YOUR MATTRESS]
[RUNS OUT OF THE ROOM]
[SLAMS THE DOOR]

This

(via darling-youll-be-fine)

collegehumor:

3 Year Old Eating Atomic Warhead Candy

It’s pretty bad parenting, but hey, it’s America!

Like a champion.

If you’re not first you’re last — Reese Bobby of Talladega Nights

There I go, thinkin’ of you again

Spiff ; ;

Spiff ; ;

Stolen, but it’s good.

Ladies and Gentlemen, skinny and stout,
I’ll tell you a tale I know nothing about;
The Admission is free, so pay at the door,
Now pull up a chair and sit on the floor.

One bright day in the middle of the night,
Two dead boys got up to fight;
Back to back they faced each other,
Drew their swords and shot each other.

A blind man came to watch fair play,
A mute man came to shout “Horray!”
A deaf policeman heard the noise and
Came and killed those two dead boys.

He lived on the corner in the middle of the block,
In a two-story house on a vacant lot;
A man with no legs came walking by,
and kicked the lawman in his thigh.

He crashed through a wall without making a sound,
into a dry creek and suddenly drowned;
The long black hearse came to cart him away,
But he ran for his life and is still gone today.

I watched from the corner of the big round table,
The only eyewitness to facts of my fable;
But if you doubt my lies are true,
Just ask the blind man, he saw it too.

i dont know who wrote this.. but i love them

This is one of the things I grew up with xD

Inception, anybody?
collegehumor:

School Bus Has Another School Bus On Top
They school district bought this after the kids kept begging the driver to do a flip. 

Inception, anybody?

collegehumor:

School Bus Has Another School Bus On Top

They school district bought this after the kids kept begging the driver to do a flip.